Standing on a Precipice: Graduation and Transitions...by Michael French

.     Hello and welcome to an all new episode of Dadsunite.  I hope as spring winds down for you and summer starts that this finds you in a season of hope and strength.  My two part adoption series hit a new high on number of hits for my blog and if you were part of that...a huge thanks.  It's humbling and gratifying to see people actually read my work.  Personally, I think that's because I had stores from other people, including my wife and daughter, and a little less of me.  I can be a bit long on here.  

    Today though, I want to share updates and where I see myself at the beginning of summer.  I feel like the young man  in the picture above seeing the vastness ahead with possibilities, opportunities and even challenge and change.  The last two weeks have been full of change.  Three weeks ago, we had a family of five living at the house.  For the last seven months, we had 3 teen girls that had been calling our abode home.  But recently, we had to say goodbye to our two older teens.  Frustrating and a bit stressful to my wife and I.  These kids that made gains in some areas and utterly crashed in others.  I ask that you keep them in your prayers as they seek new homes.  This has impacted our 13 year old as well.  She was pretty close to them so it's been hard for her to say goodbye. We're taking a bit of a breather to relax and de-tress after the last few weeks.
     I have written about my experiences as a  foster dad. But you know, I don't think I know all that much.  I made some mistakes.  The main one was my misconception that teens coming to live with us could be helped by a loving home, good environment and my wife and I having a great marriage.   It's true that that those factors are beneficial to change, but they are not enough.  Many kids come out of abuse, sexual abuse, drugs, neglect, and constantly being in survival mode.  As a result of trauma, they act out in questionable and unwise behavior.  Some foster parents we have talked with would tell us that kids are sneaky and sneaking out was part of what kids bring to the foster home.  My wife reminds me constantly that we are there to provide structure and be their parents.  We are not their friends.  That comes later.  
     So things I used to think of as extreme and even jail like, such as searching bags and personal items, alarm systems, and video cameras are now part of our life.  I was lagging behind and I think there were times that my wife felt like she was doing this thing alone.  As we move forward, I hope she never thinks that again.  
      All the drama that led to us having the kids removed also happened during the week that should have been about celebrating a moment that took me 4 and half years to get there.  My graduation from graduate school and while my wife and I certainly celebrated, I think the excitement was muted due to the foster issues.  But that weekend was one I'll never forget.  

Graduation:
For me, despite the stress at home, commencement was a chance to savor and reflect on the last few years.  Leading up to it, I had moments of senioritus and it seemed an uphill battle to get assignments done.  But I believe God impressed on me with one basic idea: Finish strong.  That has resonated in my mind for the last couple of months.  When I felt like I was getting lazy in my efforts, that one thought of "finish strong" would just keep going off in my head.  
Ironic that when our speaker, Dr. Jason Allen, President of Midwestern Baptist Seminary spoke to us at commencement, his message was on "finishing well."  

I enjoyed the day sharing the time with some fellow counseling students who are amazing in their own right and I am quite certain will do great things as they enter the counseling profession.  The moment that stands out to me was actually walking into the sanctuary and seeing everyone in attendance.  There was an exuberance that was just wanting to burst out of my heart and shout "Yes!  Thank you God!!"

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When my name was called to walk across the stage, I felt like everything was in slow motion.  This moment started over 5 years ago when I visited a career counselor.  It started when two pastors discouraged me from attending Midwestern because they felt like the school would limit my opportunities once I graduated.  Looking back, I believe God was testing me to see if I was serious in my pursuit of a higher education.  I'm grateful I selected Midwestern and now proud to be an alumni.  I can't say enough things about my education at Midwestern.  I have formed some solid relationships with the faculty and students who are now my peers and colleagues.   I am in awe of  much of the quality teaching I had and even seeing how far I could stretch myself in finishing assignments and making sure the work completed was quality and my best.  There were times I doubted myself.  God, however, knew better and  surrounded me with some awesome prayer warriors, my amazing wife, and the above mentioned faculty that kept encouraging me when I would feel inadequate in this journey.  So walking across the stage represented a culmination of many things.  Many emotions and thoughts were flooding my mind when I accepted my diploma.  My mom was there and I am sure she wondered if she'd ever see a moment like this from me.  I barely passed out of high school and just got by in my undergraduate work.  This time, it was different.   I finished strong. 

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Precipice Standing
So what's next for this graduate?  I still have my internship to finish and that will take me through the fall most likely.  Each week, I gain a bit more experience and wisdom from my supervisors and clients.  There is also this little exam called, "The National Counselor's Exam that any counseling wannabe is required to take in order to receive their certification to  be a Licensed Professional Counselor.  Once all that is completed and I pass the exam, my hope is that I will find a job in counseling that will be a great fit for me and my strengths.  Since I began the internship, I have come to enjoy working with adults and recently started counseling a teenager.  Even though my wife and I foster teens, I wasn't all that certain I was qualified to provide therapeutic services to a teen that has experienced trauma.  But so far it's working and I am grateful that God continues to help me think "outside the box" in ways to connect with my clients.  

Everything I have been doing is beyond myself . Ten years ago, I never would have dreamed of getting a masters degree and providing counsel to clients.  It requires Gods attention in directing my steps and my words.  I continue to pray for His guidance as I will continue to be challenged by new clients, new situations and how I will respond to each of them.  Many of you have prayed for me,  and encouraged me with your words of exultation. Thank you.  My wife LeeAnn continues to support and sometimes nudge me when I need a little push.  Thanks darling.  I had some awesome teachers and now clinical supervisors that help me navigate this road of counseling.  I continue to ask for your prayers as I prepare to embark on this next chapter of my new profession.  

That's it for this edition of Dadsunite.  Until next time, as Casey Kasem used to close out his show on American Top 40.  "Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars!"

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