Climbing...My own marathon...by Michael French

The enthusiasm quickly dimmed.  The incline was getting steeper, the rain and wind unrelenting.  Red mud and water mixed into the soles of my hiking shoes.  Strength was leaving my body in waves.  Another step...out of breath.   Another step...sweat pouring out of me.  Half way point and I looked up.  A long way to go.  More climbing.  Wife and son making better progress than I.  Half way up and I found myself totally alone.  Left to ponder my thoughts.  The voice inside said I was spent.  Time to throw in the towel and walk back down the mountain.  I stopped.  I looked back down the trail.  I looked back up the mountain.  I had a decision to make.  At my lowest.  At my weakest.  How important was it that I keep going?   I began a self talk with God.  What should I do?

Hello and Happy New Year!
The picture is that of Mount Lam Lam, which means "lightning" in the local Chamorran language.  It has been thought to be the tallest mountain in the world.  This mountain is located on the island of Guam. Most of the mountain resides underwater in the ocean with it's bottom traced to the deepest areas of the Marianas Trench at over 36 thousand feet.  Above sea level, it stands 1332 feet.  

Recently, my family and I had the trip of a lifetime where we spent 2 nights in Tokyo and almost 2 weeks in Guam.  My wife was the anchor of the trip and she spent a few years planning our vacation.  It was a number of firsts for us and I got to experience and do things I've never done before.  There is so much I could share and if you're friends with me on Facebook than you might have seen much of what I've documented.  Guam is a wonderful place with some very friendly people.  But for my first article on Dads-Unite in 2018, I wanted to focus in on the most meaningful  part of the trip.  It was inspiring and motivating to me.  It also proved the most difficult.  Climbing Mount Lam Lam.  Many people run marathons or take on different feats of endurance.   This mountain became my marathon. 

I'm not a big hiker and the thought of hiking in a tropical, high humidity climate was not something I looked forward to.  My wife and oldest son Eric are  more of the adventure seekers than I am.  When we arrived at the entrance trail to the mountain, it had been raining.  I did come prepared by having food and water in my backpack and a good set of hiking shoes.  A good chunk of our hiking trail was made up of red clay crisscrossed by rock and gnarled tree roots.  When the rain continued unabated, the mud became rather slick, with water trickling down the mountain.  There was also sword grass to contend with.    Sword grass is tall and if you grab it in the wrong way, the blades of grass are sharp and can slice at your legs or hands.  

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Starting Off...
This part was easy and there was a stirring inside that my wife would want to cancel climbing the mountain due to the in-climate weather we were experiencing.  I wasn't complaining and wouldn't be disappointed if we didn't climb in these less than ideal conditions.  Not so.  LeeAnn and Eric were pretty excited about challenging themselves.  My goal was just to make it up and down without falling.   We found the entrance to the trail leading up and took our first steps.  The initial part of the trek was pretty steep.  Grabbing on the tree limbs, tall grass and getting a good footing on the rock helped us navigate some fairly challenging crevices.  The pic below showed my families excitement.  My wife was beaming pretty much the whole time, even as she fell into the mud.  Someone told us that falling and sliding in mud is how memories are made.  

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As you can tell, climbing had it's share of steep inclines.  For the first half of the climb I was fine.  We stopped every so often for water.  Along the way, a couple from the Navy base on the island and their two dogs joined us.  
The scenery was spectacular even in the rain.  I did my best to avoid looking at how high we were going and just how far we had to go.  Eventually my wife and Eric moved ahead of me.  I kept a steady pace and avoided falling and slipping but my heart was beginning to beat faster.  I stopped for water and that's when my family moved even further ahead of me.  That's also when that mental voice inside started to rain down discouragement just as much as the rain was pelting the mountain.  

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It's a Mental Thing...

I asked some friends that have run in marathons how they handled the endurance of being in a marathon.  Was it just a physical thing or was there more to it like what are our thoughts and feelings were communicating to us on the inside.  From those that responded it seemed that finding endurance was more a mental navigation of mind over body.

From one of my  Northwest Missouri State friends, Leslie share this:
"The most difficult part of the experience is almost all mental. True you have to train physically but running that far and long takes a real toll on your mental state if you aren’t tough! Yes I felt like quitting during my first one at Mile 24. I had just 2.2 miles to go and let me tell u those were the TOUGHEST miles of ALL!!!"

Then there is Shawn:
"The marathon has been more emotionally and mentally difficult than physical. My marathon experience has been a roller coaster ride because I have won 2 marathons and have ended up walking the other 2. Even during the 2 I have won I felt like quitting several times even though I was in the lead! Having said that, no matter how fast or slow you run a marathon or how well you have prepared, you will always be faced with a moment where you feel like you are alone in the desert. It's just the nature of the distance"

Shawn's point of feeling alone was applicable to me.  By the time I was half up and about an hour into the climb, I was alone.  The rain had picked up and being alone, I just started becoming discouraged.  The body was saying that I'm 50 years old and out of shape. There was no shame in quitting.  I tried.  But I hadn't given it my best. I had complained about climbing even before we started.  I had set myself up for failure.  I felt my lowest and in full pity party mode, But even as I contemplated stopping the climb, I heard another voice: "Give me your best.  Your very best. Take another step." 

I turned my video camera on my phone on and started recording some of my thoughts.  I realized that I could go back down the hill.  No one was there to stop me.  But if I went back, that's all I would know.  If I ended the climb there, I wouldn't experience the joy of completion. Of summiting and feeling satisfaction in finishing.  I began to think of my clients and some of the young people we have fostered.  Some of them  felt stuck and paralyzed wondering if staying on the right path was worth all the trials they might go through.  Some have fought their way to the top of their own mountain and others gave up. They went back to what they knew.

Another thought resonated a bit more loudly.  Maybe I can demonstrate perseverance by starting to climb again. Maybe this could serve as an example to those that feel like they want to give up and stop fighting through their discomfort.  Now no matter how I felt, I wasn't going to quit even if I felt the worst.  I felt God impress on me that this wasn't a marathon and there was no competition to see who got to the top first.  It was a "race to be run with endurance."  I was motivated to press on.  It didn't matter what the upcoming terrain would be like or the pain that kept reminding me that my legs were tired.   There was no quit this time.  The only way to finish was for me to start taking the next step. One step at a time. 
 Shawn adds that it's at this point when it is the most difficult.  During the marathon, he said, " the mind ultimately controls what your body does. Around mile 22 your body will start resisting the natural signal to pick up your legs to move forward. At a certain point in the race your brain requires a lot of focus in order to be able to pick up your legs.."

Looking back, I probably should  have kept LeeAnn close to me.  We have been great help mates to each other and encouragers when the other is down.  Karen said it was having community during her practices and the race that proved to be most rewarding and beneficial. " I run harder, faster and am less bored than if I’m not simply focused on the amount of road left to run. And you also die to yourself when you have a training partner. Because there will always be days when they will be slower than you or having an off day, and vise versa. So you compensate and lift one another up.."

Finishing!!

In a marathon, training begins early.  Running a marathon, regardless of length takes a huge commitment.  But crossing the finish line is what each runner aspires to accomplish.  In this picture of the Boston Marathon finish line, you can see the elation on the faces of these runners.  The end result was the culmination of a lot hard work and sacrifice.  Below are some comments that people shared with me on what these tasks of endurance and perseverance did for them. 

Leslie:  "Running my first marathon changed my life. It taught me I can do ANYTHING I set my mind to! It taught me to never give up. It taught me that I AM strong!"

Shawn:"The marathon has taught me so much about myself more than anything. It has revealed things about my character, my strengths, weaknesses, and even has shown me what I fear. I would encourage everyone to run one in their lifetime. It may reveal things about you that maybe would not have otherwise. It is definitely not just a race, but it's an experience."

Nancy: "My motivation came from my goal to bring water to kids in Africa. I can't bear the thought of people suffering,when I can help. Having a running partner helps so we could lift each other up and keep each other on track.""

And finally Steve: "My sister- in-law challenged me to run a 5k back in 2014. I loved the way I felt at the end of that. In February of 2017, I ran my first half marathon in Austin TX. (After all, we Longhorns need a pilgrimage back to Austin every so often.) But the timing of the race marked 3 days, plus 40 years, to the date that a group of 'medical experts, ' back in 1977, told my parents I would not likely make it to adulthood without major deformities, like an amputation or being on dialysis. Wrong they were. This was not to be cocky or arrogant. Rather, an outplaying of God's grace in my life. The 2018 race is coming up in about 6 weeks...for some reason, I have those days blocked off from work."

Thanks for contributing gang.  I just wasn't able to include everybody this time around.  My "marathon" wasn't a race nor was it the distance as in many miles.  But it was a test of endurance for me and working through conversations of mind and body.  So I kept going up the muddy path and I dealt with the rain and wind.  My exhaustion remained.  But something inside kept me going.  A bit of hope hit when about 3/4th 's the way up, I came across my wife's sun visor.  I had come to a fork in the path and she stuck the visor on a tree limb to show me which direction to proceed.  I kept moving and finally reached the summit.  I took some pictures of the top.  The rain had just started to clear.  The top of the mountain had been in the clouds. 

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My external conditions had not changed.  I was still worn out.  But inside, I felt the rush of victory in finishing.  And look at the pictures. The view was worth the difficult hike I went through.  In case you're wondering, the crosses are not part of a graveyard. Guam is predominantly Catholic and every year, local Catholics ascend to pray  and add crosses to the mountain.   The time since we climbed Mount Lam Lam has made this experience very special to me.  The message of not giving up and pressing on has stuck with me.  I am reminded of the verse from the Bible  (Hebrews 12:1-2) about running.  Even if you have never climbed a mountain or ran in a race, you can still apply this verse and the experience I just related to what you may be going through.   At the end it doesn't matter if you came in first.  But that you finish!  Thanks for all  that contributed their words to this story.   Until next time., let me end with the Guam saying Hafa Adai!  It means have a good day.  Make yours great! 

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